Confusion keeps unhealthy patterns alive.
This glossary gives you clear language for the relationship dynamics, unconscious patterns, identities, and agreements that may be shaping your life. These terms are tools for reflection—not diagnoses. The goal is not to label everyone around you. The goal is to recognize what is happening, understand your part without taking responsibility for someone else’s behavior, and choose what happens next.
Narcissistic and Toxic Relationship Patterns
Triangulation
Fuck this: You are forced into competition for love, safety, or legitimacy.
What it is: Bringing another person—or their opinion—into the relationship to provoke jealousy, insecurity, or rivalry and avoid direct communication.
How it shows up: Comparisons, flirting, secret alliances, ex-partners being used as leverage, or “Everyone agrees with me.”
Fuck yeah: No triangles. No auditions. Talk to me directly—or do not talk to me about me.
Love Bombing
Fuck this: Intensity masquerades as intimacy.
What it is: An overwhelming rush of affection, attention, promises, and future plans that creates attachment before trust has had time to develop.
How it shows up: Soulmate talk, constant contact, extravagant gestures, premature commitment, and promises unsupported by consistent behavior.
Fuck yeah: Slow is sexy. Let time reveal the truth. Consistency earns closeness.
Gaslighting
Fuck this: You start doubting your own reality.
What it is: A pattern of denial, contradiction, and distortion that causes you to question your memory, perception, or emotional response.
How it shows up: “That never happened.” “You’re too sensitive.” “You’re imagining things.” Facts are denied until you end up defending your sanity.
Fuck yeah: Trust your perception. Write things down, reality-check, and stop debating the truth with someone committed to rewriting it.
Trauma Bonding
Fuck this: Your nervous system confuses relief with love.
What it is: A powerful attachment strengthened through cycles of mistreatment, withdrawal, apology, affection, and renewed hope.
How it shows up: Feeling unable to leave, craving contact after being hurt, obsessing during separation, or experiencing reconciliation as emotional relief.
Fuck yeah: Break the cycle, not your spirit. Consistent distance, support, and regulation loosen the bond.
Intermittent Reinforcement
Fuck this: Just enough love keeps you waiting for more.
What it is: Unpredictable rewards—affection, approval, sex, attention—mixed with withdrawal or mistreatment.
How it shows up: Hot-and-cold intimacy, promises after conflict, affection when you pull away, and long periods of disappointment punctuated by intense connection.
Fuck yeah: Stop measuring love by its highest moments. Judge the relationship by its most consistent pattern.
Devaluation
Fuck this: The pedestal becomes a chopping block.
What it is: A shift from admiration and idealization to criticism, contempt, withdrawal, or the gradual erosion of your confidence.
How it shows up: Nitpicking, sarcasm, comparisons, withholding affection, blame-shifting, and constantly moving the goalposts.
Fuck yeah: Respect is the minimum. Love should not require you to keep shrinking, proving, or performing.
Hoovering
Fuck this: The comeback tour begins the moment you create distance.
What it is: An attempt to pull you back into the relationship after a breakup, boundary, or separation—without meaningful evidence of lasting change.
How it shows up: Sudden apologies, declarations of love, gifts, emergencies, nostalgic messages, guilt, charm, or rage.
Fuck yeah: Your boundary can be the closure. Changed words without changed behavior are another cycle beginning.
Narcissistic Discard
Fuck this: You are dropped as though the relationship never mattered.
What it is: An abrupt emotional withdrawal or ending that may occur when the relationship no longer provides the attention, validation, or control the other person expects.
How it shows up: Ghosting, immediate replacement, sudden coldness, emotional shutdown, or rewriting the relationship as meaningless.
Fuck yeah: Their withdrawal does not determine your worth. Let the ending give you information—and release you.
Future Faking
Fuck this: You are kept loyal to a future that never arrives.
What it is: Making promises about commitment, change, marriage, healing, or a shared future to maintain attachment in the present.
How it shows up: “Once work settles down.” “After this trip.” “I’m finally ready.” The timeline changes, but the behavior does not.
Fuck yeah: Stop dating the promise. Make decisions based on the relationship you are actually living.
Blame-Shifting
Fuck this: Their behavior becomes your fault.
What it is: Redirecting responsibility away from the person who caused harm and onto the person affected by it.
How it shows up: “I lied because you’re controlling.” “I yelled because you pushed me.” Your reaction becomes the topic instead of their action.
Fuck yeah: Your response can be examined without erasing what provoked it. Accountability belongs where the behavior began.
Projection
Fuck this: You are accused of carrying what they refuse to face in themselves.
What it is: Attributing unwanted motives, emotions, or behaviors to someone else rather than recognizing them internally.
How it shows up: A dishonest partner constantly accuses you of lying. A controlling person calls you controlling when you set a boundary.
Fuck yeah: Do not accept every accusation as self-knowledge. Ask whose behavior is actually being described.
Silent Treatment
Fuck this: Withdrawal is used as punishment.
What it is: Refusing communication, affection, or acknowledgment to gain control, avoid accountability, or provoke pursuit.
How it shows up: Ignoring messages, refusing to speak, disappearing after conflict, or withholding contact until you apologize.
Fuck yeah: Taking space requires communication and a return plan. Punitive silence is not emotional regulation.
Stonewalling
Fuck this: The conversation hits a wall every time accountability gets close.
What it is: Shutting down, refusing engagement, or blocking discussion of an important issue.
How it shows up: Leaving mid-conversation, changing the subject, staring silently, dismissing concerns, or saying, “I’m done talking about this.”
Fuck yeah: A relationship cannot repair what it refuses to discuss. Regulation is healthy; permanent avoidance is not.
Boundary Testing
Fuck this: Your “no” is treated as the beginning of a negotiation.
What it is: Repeatedly pushing against a stated limit to see whether it will be enforced.
How it shows up: “Just this once,” guilt, teasing, repeated requests, minor violations, or acting wounded when you hold your ground.
Fuck yeah: A boundary without a consequence is a wish. Say it clearly, then defend it with action.
Coercive Control
Fuck this: Your life gets smaller while their power gets larger.
What it is: A pattern of domination that limits your freedom, independence, relationships, finances, movement, or ability to make decisions.
How it shows up: Monitoring, isolation, threats, financial restrictions, intimidation, sexual pressure, or controlling who you see and where you go.
Fuck yeah: Love does not require surrendering your autonomy. Safety comes first; seek qualified support when control or violence is present.
Smear Campaign
Fuck this: Your reputation becomes the battlefield.
What it is: Spreading distorted, exaggerated, or false stories to isolate you, recruit allies, or control the public narrative.
How it shows up: Gossip, selective screenshots, private information being shared, character attacks, or friends being pressured to take sides.
Fuck yeah: Do not exhaust yourself trying to win every courtroom. Tell the truth where it matters and protect your peace.
Reactive Abuse
Fuck this: Your breaking point is used to erase everything that led to it.
What it is: A controversial, often misused term describing a strong reaction after prolonged provocation or mistreatment. A reaction may still require accountability, but it does not automatically make the entire dynamic equal.
How it shows up: Repeated baiting, cornering, or invalidation followed by recording or highlighting only your eventual outburst.
Fuck yeah: Take responsibility for your behavior without accepting a false version of the whole story.
Narcissistic Supply
Fuck this: You are treated as a source of attention rather than a whole person.
What it is: The validation, admiration, status, emotional reaction, or control someone seeks to regulate their sense of self.
How it shows up: Constant demands for praise, provoking conflict for attention, using relationships for image, or losing interest when admiration declines.
Fuck yeah: You are not emotional fuel. Real relationships require reciprocity, curiosity, and care.
Jungian Shadow Work and Inner Patterns
The Shadow
Fuck this: What you reject in yourself starts running your life from underground.
What it is: The emotions, needs, qualities, and capacities you learned were unsafe, unacceptable, or unlovable.
How it shows up: Strong reactions, shame, secret desires, repeated patterns, and intense attraction or judgment toward people who express what you suppress.
Fuck yeah: What you bury does not disappear. Bring it into awareness and reclaim its healthy power.
The Persona
Fuck this: The mask becomes more important than the person underneath it.
What it is: The identity you present to gain safety, approval, belonging, or success.
How it shows up: Performing confidence, perfection, helpfulness, strength, or indifference while hiding your actual needs and feelings.
Fuck yeah: Your persona may protect you, but it cannot love for you. Let the real person enter the relationship.
The Golden Shadow
Fuck this: You give other people ownership of the qualities you secretly want.
What it is: Positive traits—confidence, freedom, creativity, authority, sexuality—that you admire in others but have not allowed yourself to claim.
How it shows up: Idolizing charismatic people, feeling inferior around confidence, or believing someone else possesses the life force you lack.
Fuck yeah: Admiration is information. Reclaim the quality instead of worshipping the person carrying it.
A Complex
Fuck this: Something old takes the throne.
What it is: An emotionally charged cluster of memories, beliefs, fears, and survival responses activated by a current experience.
How it shows up: A small conflict produces overwhelming panic, rage, shame, collapse, or the feeling that you are suddenly much younger.
Fuck yeah: Your adult body is in the room. Slow down, meet the younger wound, and return choice to the present.
A Trigger
Fuck this: The past hijacks the present.
What it is: A current event that activates an older emotional wound or protective response.
How it shows up: Sudden shutdown, panic, defensiveness, pursuit, withdrawal, or feeling unsafe beyond what the immediate situation seems to explain.
Fuck yeah: A trigger is a clue, not a command. Honor the feeling without letting it make every decision.
Integration
Fuck this: You keep fighting parts of yourself that are trying to bring you information.
What it is: Recognizing, accepting, and consciously using a hidden quality instead of repressing it or allowing it to take over.
How it shows up: Anger becomes boundaries. Selfishness becomes self-care. Neediness becomes honest desire. Defiance becomes a voice.
Fuck yeah: Do not destroy the part. Reclaim the power trapped inside it.
Individuation
Fuck this: You live by a script written by family, culture, fear, or a partner.
What it is: The lifelong process of becoming more fully yourself while staying capable of real relationship.
How it shows up: Questioning inherited roles, reclaiming rejected qualities, making conscious choices, and tolerating the discomfort of becoming different.
Fuck yeah: Stop asking who you are supposed to be. Build the courage to belong to yourself.
Repetition Compulsion
Fuck this: A familiar wound keeps returning with a different face.
What it is: Recreating an old emotional dynamic in the unconscious hope that this time it will end differently.
How it shows up: Choosing unavailable partners, trying to win approval from critical people, or repeatedly becoming the rescuer, victim, or outsider.
Fuck yeah: Familiar is not the same as safe. Stop rehearsing the wound and choose a new ending.
People-Pleasing
Fuck this: You abandon yourself before anyone else gets the chance.
What it is: Suppressing your needs, opinions, limits, or emotions to avoid rejection, conflict, or disappointment.
How it shows up: Automatic yeses, over-explaining, resentment, apologizing for needs, and monitoring everyone else’s emotional state.
Fuck yeah: Disappointing someone is not the same as harming them. Let your honest no protect your real yes.
Perfectionism
Fuck this: You try to earn safety by becoming impossible to criticize.
What it is: Using flawless performance to avoid shame, failure, rejection, or loss of control.
How it shows up: Procrastination, overworking, harsh self-judgment, avoiding risks, and never feeling finished or good enough.
Fuck yeah: Excellence can inspire you. Perfection imprisons you. Let yourself be seen learning.
Self-Abandonment
Fuck this: You leave yourself to keep someone else.
What it is: Ignoring your own truth, discomfort, values, needs, or boundaries to preserve attachment or approval.
How it shows up: Saying yes when you mean no, tolerating disrespect, hiding desires, and accepting less than you know you need.
Fuck yeah: Stop proving your love by disappearing. Stay loyal to yourself inside the relationship.
Emotional Shutdown
Fuck this: Numbness becomes your only version of safety.
What it is: Disconnecting from emotion, desire, conflict, or vulnerability when experience becomes overwhelming.
How it shows up: Going blank, leaving mentally, saying “I don’t care,” losing words, or avoiding conversations that carry emotional risk.
Fuck yeah: You do not have to flood or freeze. Build the capacity to stay present one honest feeling at a time.
Over-Control
Fuck this: You try to eliminate uncertainty by controlling everything around you.
What it is: Managing people, outcomes, emotions, or details to avoid vulnerability and fear.
How it shows up: Micromanaging, demanding reassurance, rigid planning, difficulty delegating, or treating another person’s autonomy as a threat.
Fuck yeah: Control is not confidence. Build the capacity to remain grounded when the outcome is not yours to command.
The Inner Critic
Fuck this: Shame disguises itself as motivation.
What it is: The internal voice that uses criticism, comparison, and threat to prevent failure or rejection.
How it shows up: “You’re pathetic.” “Do not embarrass yourself.” “You should be further along.” Nothing you do feels sufficient.
Fuck yeah: You do not need cruelty to grow. Replace punishment with honest accountability and support.
The Inner Child
Fuck this: A younger wound keeps making adult decisions.
What it is: The emotional parts of you that continue carrying early needs, fears, beliefs, and survival strategies.
How it shows up: Fear of abandonment, desperate pursuit, collapse under criticism, or expecting a partner to heal an old parental wound.
Fuck yeah: The inner child does not need to rule your life. It needs protection from the adult you have become.
LGBTQ+ Identity and Relationship Patterns
Coming Out
Fuck this: Your truth becomes a performance owed to everyone else.
What it is: The personal process of acknowledging and sometimes sharing your sexual orientation, gender identity, or relationship truth.
How it shows up: Disclosure to family, friends, partners, or coworkers—and repeatedly deciding who has earned access to that information.
Fuck yeah: Coming out belongs to you. Tell the truth at a pace that protects both authenticity and safety.
Late-Life Coming Out
Fuck this: You believe discovering yourself later means you are late.
What it is: Recognizing or openly living an LGBTQ+ identity after years in another role, relationship, or life structure.
How it shows up: Questioning a marriage, grieving lost time, fear of family reaction, or feeling inexperienced inside your own identity.
Fuck yeah: You are not behind. You are arriving when you are ready to tell the truth.
Internalized Shame
Fuck this: The world’s rejection becomes your inner voice.
What it is: Absorbing negative cultural, religious, or familial messages about LGBTQ+ identity, sexuality, gender, or relationships.
How it shows up: Hiding, self-criticism, choosing unavailable partners, discomfort with affection, or believing you are less deserving of love.
Fuck yeah: Shame was taught. It can be challenged, grieved, and replaced with self-respect.
Minority Stress
Fuck this: You blame yourself for exhaustion caused by constantly navigating threat.
What it is: The ongoing emotional burden created by stigma, discrimination, concealment, rejection, and the need to assess safety.
How it shows up: Hypervigilance, anxiety, burnout, isolation, code-switching, and anticipating judgment before it happens.
Fuck yeah: Your nervous system is responding to a real context. Build safety without making yourself the problem.
Chosen Family
Fuck this: Biology is treated as the only relationship that counts.
What it is: A network of people who provide the belonging, care, loyalty, and support that family ideally offers.
How it shows up: Friends becoming caregivers, holiday family, emergency contacts, mentors, elders, and lifelong sources of connection.
Fuck yeah: Family is not only inherited. It can be consciously built through love, reciprocity, and commitment.
Masking and Code-Switching
Fuck this: You edit yourself to survive every room.
What it is: Adjusting language, behavior, gender expression, affection, or personal disclosure to gain safety or acceptance.
How it shows up: Changing how you speak, hiding a partner, minimizing identity, or performing conventional masculinity or femininity.
Fuck yeah: Adaptation may protect you, but it should not erase you. Know when the mask is necessary—and where it can come off.
Compulsory Heterosexuality
Fuck this: A default script is mistaken for your truth.
What it is: Cultural pressure that treats heterosexuality as automatic and expects people to organize life around it.
How it shows up: Entering relationships that look right but feel wrong, dismissing same-gender attraction, or mistaking social approval for desire.
Fuck yeah: You do not need to force a label. Give yourself permission to question the script.
Sexual Fluidity
Fuck this: Change is treated as proof that your earlier identity was fake.
What it is: The capacity for attraction, identity, or desire to shift over time or across experiences.
How it shows up: New attractions, evolving labels, changing relationship desires, or discovering that an old identity no longer tells the whole story.
Fuck yeah: Growth does not invalidate your past. Let your language evolve with your truth.
Gender Expression
Fuck this: Clothes, behavior, or energy are treated as a rulebook for identity.
What it is: How someone communicates gender through appearance, manner, voice, style, and social presentation.
How it shows up: Masculine, feminine, androgynous, fluid, or changing forms of self-expression.
Fuck yeah: Expression is not an obligation or a diagnostic test. Wear your truth without turning it into another cage.
Daddy/Boy Dynamics
Fuck this: A meaningful role becomes unconscious power, shame, or dependency.
What it is: A consensual relationship or erotic dynamic involving authority, care, age, mentorship, surrender, structure, or play.
How it shows up: Age-gap relationships, negotiated power exchange, protective roles, erotic language, guidance, or emotional caretaking.
Fuck yeah: Make the unconscious agreement conscious. Consent, voice, renegotiation, and mutual care keep the role chosen.
The Father Archetype
Fuck this: You keep asking partners to provide the permission, protection, or approval you never received.
What it is: A symbolic pattern connected to authority, structure, discipline, initiation, protection, and taking your place in the world.
How it shows up: Attraction to authority, fear of powerful men, seeking validation from older partners, or resisting all forms of structure.
Fuck yeah: Reclaim the inner authority you have been outsourcing. A partner can support you; they cannot become the father you needed.
Ageism in LGBTQ+ Culture
Fuck this: Visibility and worth are treated as privileges reserved for youth.
What it is: Bias and exclusion based on age, desirability, appearance, or cultural relevance.
How it shows up: Feeling invisible, chasing youth for validation, fearing aging, or believing intimacy is no longer available.
Fuck yeah: Your life is not expiring. Let age deepen your authority, sexuality, discernment, and capacity for real connection.
Queer Generational Differences
Fuck this: Different survival histories are mistaken for incompatible values.
What it is: Differences in how LGBTQ+ generations understand privacy, visibility, sex, marriage, activism, identity, and safety.
How it shows up: Conflict over labels, coming out, monogamy, political language, marriage, or how publicly a relationship should be lived.
Fuck yeah: Honor the history each person carries. Curiosity builds bridges that judgment cannot.
Ethical Non-Monogamy and Polyamory
Ethical Non-Monogamy
Fuck this: “Open” becomes permission to avoid honesty.
What it is: An umbrella term for relationships in which everyone knowingly and consensually agrees that romantic or sexual connections may extend beyond one exclusive partnership.
How it shows up: Polyamory, open relationships, swinging, monogamish arrangements, relationship anarchy, and other negotiated structures.
Fuck yeah: Freedom requires consent, communication, accountability, and respect for everyone affected.
Polyamory
Fuck this: More relationships become more avoidance, chaos, or emotional labor.
What it is: The practice or capacity for multiple consensual romantic or emotionally intimate relationships.
How it shows up: Multiple partners, interconnected relationships, shared time, emotional commitments, and ongoing negotiation.
Fuck yeah: Love may be abundant. Time, energy, and capacity are not. Build relationships you can sustain with integrity.
Open Relationship
Fuck this: Permission replaces communication.
What it is: A relationship in which partners agree that sexual or romantic contact outside the primary partnership is allowed under defined conditions.
How it shows up: Outside dating, sexual encounters, travel agreements, disclosure rules, or negotiated limits.
Fuck yeah: Opening the relationship does not close the conversation. Agreements must stay alive.
Monogamish
Fuck this: Ambiguity lets each partner assume something different.
What it is: A primarily monogamous relationship that allows limited, occasional, or jointly defined outside experiences.
How it shows up: Travel exceptions, shared encounters, occasional outside sex, flirting, or limited exploration.
Fuck yeah: “Mostly monogamous” still requires specific agreements. Say what the exception actually means.
Solo Polyamory
Fuck this: Independence becomes an excuse to avoid responsibility.
What it is: Practicing polyamory while maintaining personal autonomy and not organizing life around a primary partnership.
How it shows up: Separate homes, independent finances, multiple relationships, and resistance to traditional relationship escalation.
Fuck yeah: Autonomy is not detachment. Be clear about what you can offer and accountable for the impact you have.
Relationship Anarchy
Fuck this: “No rules” becomes no responsibility.
What it is: An approach that resists automatically ranking relationships and encourages each connection to be defined by the people involved.
How it shows up: Custom agreements, less emphasis on conventional labels, and valuing friendships, partners, and community without preset hierarchy.
Fuck yeah: Reject inherited scripts—not honesty, care, or accountability.
New Relationship Energy
Fuck this: The new connection consumes the oxygen from every existing relationship.
What it is: The excitement, focus, and neurochemical intensity that often accompany a new relationship.
How it shows up: Constant messaging, idealization, disrupted routines, neglected partners, impulsive decisions, and believing the new person is uniquely perfect.
Fuck yeah: Enjoy the high without abandoning the people, agreements, and responsibilities already in your life.
Compersion
Fuck this: You shame yourself because you are not delighted by everything your partner experiences.
What it is: Pleasure, warmth, or happiness in response to a partner’s joy or connection with someone else.
How it shows up: Feeling happy for a partner’s date, attraction, love, or sexual experience.
Fuck yeah: Compersion is welcome, not required. Ethical non-monogamy does not demand emotional perfection.
Jealousy
Fuck this: A feeling becomes either a weapon or something you are ashamed to admit.
What it is: An emotional response that may contain fear, comparison, grief, insecurity, anger, unmet needs, or concern about a real relationship problem.
How it shows up: Panic, possessiveness, resentment, comparison, withdrawal, interrogation, or fear of replacement.
Fuck yeah: Jealousy is information, not a verdict. Listen for what needs reassurance, boundaries, grief, or change.
Metamour
Fuck this: A shared partner automatically makes two people rivals.
What it is: Your partner’s other partner, when you and that person are not romantically involved.
How it shows up: Parallel relationships, shared events, practical coordination, friendship, distance, or occasional communication.
Fuck yeah: You do not have to be best friends. You do need enough respect and clarity to protect the relational system.
Couple’s Privilege
Fuck this: An established couple’s comfort automatically outranks everyone else’s humanity.
What it is: The unspoken power, priority, and protection given to an existing couple within a non-monogamous system.
How it shows up: New partners having no voice, relationships being ended by the original couple, hidden hierarchy, or one person being treated as disposable.
Fuck yeah: Existing commitments matter. So do the dignity, consent, and emotional reality of newer partners.
Hierarchy
Fuck this: Ranking becomes permission to disrespect people lower on the list.
What it is: A structure in which some relationships receive greater time, authority, commitment, or practical priority than others.
How it shows up: Primary and secondary partners, shared housing, marriage, parenting, financial entanglement, or decision-making power.
Fuck yeah: Hierarchy may be practical, but it should never be hidden. Name the power honestly so everyone can consent.
Polysaturation
Fuck this: More connection is pursued after capacity has already run out.
What it is: Reaching the limit of how many relationships, commitments, and emotional responsibilities you can manage well.
How it shows up: Chronic scheduling stress, neglected partners, exhaustion, missed agreements, and no time for yourself.
Fuck yeah: Capacity is a boundary. More love does not create more hours in the day.
Agreements
Fuck this: Unspoken assumptions pretend to be mutual consent.
What it is: Commitments created through direct discussion and freely chosen by everyone involved.
How it shows up: Agreements about disclosure, sexual health, time, overnights, communication, shared spaces, or emotional intimacy.
Fuck yeah: Make agreements specific, mutual, realistic, and open to review.
Boundaries
Fuck this: Your limits become demands that someone else behave exactly as you want.
What it is: A statement about what you will participate in and what action you will take to care for yourself.
How it shows up: “I will not have sex without updated testing,” or “If yelling begins, I will end the conversation.”
Fuck yeah: A boundary governs your participation—not another adult’s entire life.
Rules
Fuck this: Control is used to manufacture emotional safety.
What it is: Restrictions placed on another person’s behavior, often to reduce fear or uncertainty.
How it shows up: “You cannot fall in love.” “You may only see them once.” “You must never do with them what you do with me.”
Fuck yeah: Ask whether the rule protects a shared value—or attempts to prevent another person from changing.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Fuck this: Avoidance is mistaken for peace.
What it is: An arrangement in which outside relationships are permitted but details are limited, hidden, or not discussed.
How it shows up: No names, no disclosure, separate social lives, or agreements not to discuss outside experiences.
Fuck yeah: Privacy can be consensual. Secrecy cannot. Make sure everyone understands and freely accepts the real arrangement.
Veto Power
Fuck this: One person can erase a relationship they are not part of.
What it is: An agreement allowing one partner to demand that another outside relationship end.
How it shows up: “You can date them unless I become uncomfortable,” or established partners retaining final authority over newer connections.
Fuck yeah: Protect existing commitments without pretending other people are disposable. Address the fear directly before reaching for control.
Polyamory Under Duress
Fuck this: Consent is extracted through fear of losing the relationship.
What it is: A situation in which someone reluctantly agrees to non-monogamy because they feel pressured, threatened, or unable to say no freely.
How it shows up: “Accept this or we are over,” repeated persuasion after refusal, financial dependence, or agreeing while emotionally overwhelmed.
Fuck yeah: Consent is not surrender. A real yes must be freely chosen—and no must remain a possible answer.
Informed Consent
Fuck this: People agree without receiving the truth they need to choose.
What it is: Consent based on accurate, relevant information and the freedom to accept, refuse, or renegotiate.
How it shows up: Honest disclosure of relationship status, agreements, sexual-health practices, risks, and existing commitments.
Fuck yeah: People cannot consent to information you deliberately keep from them.
Repair
Fuck this: “Sorry” is expected to erase the impact without changing the pattern.
What it is: The process of acknowledging harm, understanding its effect, taking responsibility, making amends, and changing behavior.
How it shows up: Listening without defense, answering questions honestly, restoring agreements, and accepting that trust may rebuild slowly.
Fuck yeah: An apology names the past. Repair changes the future.
Go From F*ck This. To F*ck Yeah!
Naming the pattern is not the end of the work.
It is the moment you stop treating confusion as destiny.
Fuck this is the awakening:
This hurts. This is not working. I cannot keep abandoning myself.
Fuck yeah is conscious choice:
I trust what I know. I speak clearly. I defend my boundaries. I choose relationships that can meet me.
The goal is not to diagnose everyone around you.
It is to become the authority in your own life.
Name the pattern.
Reclaim the hidden part.
Build your relational spine.
Take back your crown.